At a football game for my daughter’s cheer squad I saw a young girl (maybe a mom, not sure) with the tiniest of tank tops (barely covering the important parts) and the shortest of shorts in white. She sat with the football players. I sat with my jaw to the ground.
At the produce store, a young girl in a barely there t-shirt and bikini bottoms prancing around.
At an interview and struggling to maintain eye contact as cleavage joins in the interview process.
I have a confession to make. I am incredibly judgemental. I try not to be, but truth be told; I judge. Hard. It’s a struggle. Sometimes, it’s because I care enough to point out the obvious, i.e. shorts too short/tight/ripped, etc. Sometimes it’s within the limits of my own children and setting boundaries and sometimes I turn the ugly, judgemental eye….think along the lines of “What not to wear”. The irony of it all, is I am no fashion maven and have had enough “what not to wear” moments that Stacey and Clinton should be here yesterday with their $5000 and help a sister out. But. It’s not the fashion mishaps that concern me (mostly, I find THOSE highly entertaining and educational) it’s the blatant sexism in fashion and the lowering of the moral bar in what should be deemed acceptable. Starting in the toddler section and it doesn’t stop there.
Our girls have been blessed some truly awesome hand-me-downs in the past, however, a large portion of those clothes just kept on going out the door to the thrift store due to inappropriateness. I mean, do we REALLY need to see ass-crease with every pair of shorts??? We’ve had several talks. Together. One on one. At the table. In the car. In the stores. They know exactly where Dad and I stand in what’s allowable (basically school dress code=family dress codes for most things…but not flip-flops, I mean, c’mon…we live in Florida!). For the most part, they abide by the rules. In truth, they do each own a pair or two of hootchie shorts, however, they are mainly for the house or sleeping in. Sometimes, they make it out though. The point is, we and they are trying and trying hard.
Most importantly, I think they are receiving the message of modesty and the importance of what you wear and the message it sends. Incredibly difficult is short shopping, dress shopping and back to school shopping (which sadly is upon us). Challenging also in peer circles and learning to stand your ground and making your parent’s message yours.
Such a tough battle and a constant fight in staying modest. We can’t advertise sex 24/7 from age toddler up and expect no problems. Yes, I know that what you wear should be what you want to, but this is life and life isn’t fair.
So I judge. And I use those judgements as teachable moments. Mostly. For the other times, well…..I’m working on that and I have this handy-dandy Matthew to keep me company.
Matthew 7: 1-3 (NASB)
7 “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. 2 For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and [a]by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
Matthew 7:1-5 (The Message)
7 1-5 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.
And then…this video making ALL the noise. And it really fits in. With the immodest dressing. Overmakeup. Trying too hard. I shared it with my girls and I want to work harder by leading by example, otherwise it’s just words, right? So, thank you, Colbie!!